MY DREAM HUNGER GAMES LINE UP!
Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Ted Cruz, and more!
Last week was a complete and utter whirlwind. I got high on Sunday and watched Catching Fire, then watched Mockingjay Part 1 on Monday. Tuesday, I took an edible and watched Mockingjay 2, and now I have a few thoughts on Democracy. So for those who aren’t familiar with the Hunger Games Trilogy, it, like many of the other classics we grew up on, is a metaphor about the dangers of authoritarianism. And SPOILER ALERT, the solution is always the same. President Snow, Voldemort, the Sith Lord, all the shriveled dictators are always defeated by the power of the people. Democracy, freedom, the greater good, it always prevails. The stories all have a, you guessed it, humble, charismatic, hot-but-not-too-hot commander in chief. The “But I never asked for this!” protagonist is always able to bring the people together to defeat evil. They’re able to appeal to the masses by promising a better future, “it won’t be perfect, but at least we don’t have to fight to the death in a state sponsored arena!” The evil leader, safely living in luxuries, rules the working class as the commoners are told how to live, forced into a world where someone who they’ll never meet calls the shots. The terrible societies with an elite class controlling everyone are nothing like our world now… EXCEPT IS IT?
As we remember the hottest Hunger Games character, Finnick, and think about how Gale should have died instead, let’s remember who the real enemy is: RICH PEOPLE! Before you get going all but my Uncle has a vacation home! And he’s the best guy I know! I’m not talking about him! I’m also not talking about your friend JESSICA who gave you her old Dior Saddle bag either. I am talking about the people who have so much money they pay a team to keep track of it. If you are still somehow feeling targeted, you are delusional. This is not about my fellow upper middle class Chapman grads, this is about BILLIONAIRES. This is about the MEN*mostly who can outfit their yachts with helipads and buy their own island to house it without making a dent in their fortune. Oh boy Here comes Alexa being a MAN HATING SOCIALIST again. Yes, I recognize that it’s not always as black and white as Rich People = BAD and everyone else = GOOD. I get it, there are nuances, as with everything. But I really don’t think it’s as complicated as we’re led to believe. Anyways, let’s dive into it!
Perhaps it was the edible that helped me see the parallels between our society and one from a pre-teen dystopian novel; an elite class that hoards all the wealth, a working class living in poverty and a ruling oligarchy that controls it all. As the people of Panem turned against one another, it was Finnick who reminded Katniss (and me) we need to, “remember who the real enemy is.” Obviously, in the Hunger Games, it was a lot easier to find the real enemy, mostly because they were the ones who created a bunch of different ways to kill teenagers on television. In the real world, it’s not as easy to point out who the enemy is; who is responsible for the injustices that happen in the world. Except, it really isn’t that hard. Sure, we don’t have Voldemort, but we do have Jeff Bezos and honestly the resemblance is uncanny. Given the capitalist nature of our country and the individualist way of thinking, it’s easy to credit one's success to personal attributes and hard work. Successful people can say, “I did this all on my own! And so can you!” without acknowledging the ways they have had a step up in the world, or how the institutions helped them succeed. It’s also the same way of thinking that allows the masses to believe those who are unable to support themselves are due to some fault of their own. All while simultaneously pointing fingers at other marginalized groups of society, claiming they are impending on other people’s personal liberties; harming society by their sheer existence. It’s important to remember that the 99%, or the ones without a yacht with a built in helipad, are all clashing over who is responsible for today’s injustice, as if their greed is not what is contributing to the demise of society. Powerful rich people are able to rewrite the rules of society to benefit themselves, with no acknowledgement of the rest of the world.
While our country is not quite to the point of watching a bunch of teenagers kill each other on national television, I’d argue we are actually not that far off from Panem as we may think. Like, what is more dystopian than watching a vape clutching bitcoin bro drive his gold chrome Bentley by a homeless encampment? The parallels may not be easy to spot at first, but, I encourage you to get high then watch all four Hunger Games movies and you’ll get it. In the Hunger Games, there’s the Capital: an elite society where people take pills to make them throw up so they can keep eating. In the real world, we have already-skinny bitches stealing medication from diabetics in order to get even skinnier. In Harry Potter, we have Voldemort, in real life we have Dick Cheney. In the Hunger Games, there are tributes- the unlucky few who have to fight to their death. In America, we have an impoverished working class in order to keep military recruitment up. And then there’s Katniss, a hotter Greta Thurnberg, fighting for a better world, free of corporate corruption.
In The Hunger Games, the districts each have a certain job, mostly harvesting the resources of their area and then shipping it off for the rich people to have. In the real world, we’ve got Jeff Bezos demolishing bridges for his superyacht to get through, while Amazon workers are forced to pee in water bottles so they don’t get fired. He even looks like a super villain!! He’s bald, he’s short (no shame to bald short people, but all the shame to rich, blood sucking leeches) he fits the archetype, yet there are people who will still go to bat for him every time. “No one is above the law.” Except they are. They’re able to break the rules because they can afford to, racking up thousands of dollars in tickets because they wipe their ass with that kinda change. Meanwhile, the people who work for him literally die in warehouses because they can’t take off work for a TORNADO?! His workers are unionizing and he has the AUDACITY to say they’re compensated fairly, meanwhile Jeffy boy, who may I remind you, looks like THIS:
According to one 2021 study, Jeff Bezos could give each of his employees a $100K bonus and still be as rich as he was before the pandemic. Yet, the median Amazon employee makes under $30K a year. If Trickle Down Economics existed (which it doesn’t, sorry Reagan cock suckers) then why don’t those working for the richest man to ever exist also live in luxury? Could it be because this 5’7 CEO is hoarding wealth in order to maintain his relevancy and power? Yeah. it is. And like President Snow, Voldemort, and all the other bad guys, he’ll do whatever it takes to maintain that power, even if it comes at the cost of a few lowly warehouse workers dying. Oh no ones above the law? Really? Jeffrey Epstein was a known child molester, for YEARS, before actually being charged. He (may he rest in perpetual hell) was able to recruit young, vulnerable women because he had money- and they didn’t. This type of inequality- not the “they have a timeshare and I don’t :-(“ is what is perpetuating the downfall of our society. Not trans people, not abortion, not inflation but RICH PEOPLE!
Living in the wasteland that is Los Angeles, I’ve also become keenly aware of the forces that maintain the status quo. Mostly because those forces are so goddamn loud and always hovering over my backyard a la police helicopter. If the LAPD taught me one thing it’s that cops don’t protect people, they protect property. And the property they protect is not commons peoples property, like yours or mine, but rich peoples'. You’d think by the constant sounds of helicopters that the cops are always fighting crime, saving lives, putting criminals behind bars, etc. But they’re not. You know how I know that? Because my friend that was robbed at gunpoint was told by not one but TWO different police stations they couldn’t do anything for her. I know multiple people who have been assaulted by their Uber/Lyft drivers, but unfortunately, LAPD can’t do anything about it until the rape kits come back! And the eta for that rape kit is whenever they get done harassing homeless people, but expect to wait a while because there are over 14,000 untested rape kits! And even if that rape kit does come back, don’t expect a conviction.
I’m not saying LA would be a crime free haven without cops, or that suddenly all of society's problems would go away without them. But perhaps, if we stopped giving the LAPD $50M a year to fly their helicopters, and put that money into, I don’t know, affordable housing, we wouldn’t have so many homeless people for the LAPD to harass. I’m not arguing that it’s a safe, wonderful environment. There was a period in time where I wasn’t able to walk my dog at night without my bodyguard (Jake) there. I did feel unsafe because the person who set up camp down the block would follow me, and would frequently ask me to dinner, follow me home and would look in the windows of my apartment. Being followed is not fun, and feeling unsafe in your own home is also not fun. Despite my fear, I didn’t call the cops, or post “DANGEROUS MAN ALERT!” on NextDoor. Because none of those things actually help the problem at hand. They may displace a man, and/or stoke more anger and fear in my already angry and scared neighbors, but it will not solve the problem of homelessness. But you know what could help solve that problem? Robust social programs, Universal Basic Income, taxing rich people! Yeah yeah we all hate taxes- how founding fathers of me! Do you think I like that almost $1500 of my paycheck gets taken out every other week? NO! But I’m fine paying my share if it means a family in need is getting access to healthcare. If it meant a more equal community with social goods. I’d be a whole lot cooler with paying my taxes if rich people also paid their share, mostly because that would solve so many problems. Oh, wealth inequality isn’t what’s creating poverty? Then why is it that if the top 1% of Americans just paid the taxes they owed, not paid more taxes, we as a nation could raise an additional $175 billion, enough to bring every single American out of poverty. There are over 40K unhoused people in Los Angeles, yet there are almost 100K vacant homes. I got a C in statistics, but I'm pretty sure some things are not adding up.
So, like sexy ass Finnick (may he rest in peace) said, remember who the real enemy is. And that is trans girls wanting to play on the girls team in high school and the people living in the homeless encampment down the street! SIKE! The enemy are the people who tell you nothing can be done to solve homelessness, while there are more than enough homes to house everyone. The enemy is the people who will take their private planes to their island while the whole world burns. The enemy is those who employ thousands of workers but refuse to offer them benefits. The enemy is the corporations who profit off of empty apartments, while thousands are homeless. The enemy is who uses their wealth to buy political candidates, who can bring their buddy Clarence to his private island in exchange for a few Supreme Court Rulings in his favor. The enemy is not queer people, the enemy is not homeless people, fuck, the enemy is not even the die hard MAGA crowd. The enemy is those who deny healthcare to people who need it while they rake in hundreds of millions of dollars. The enemy is corporations that make such a huge profit off of student debt they can afford to buy a fucking sports arena ahem Sofi Stadium. In order to create meaningful change, we must acknowledge and challenge the systems and individuals that contribute to societal injustices. So let’s fight for a better world, a better life for all, starting with forcing rich people to cough up their cash.